Saturday, September 19, 2009

So since being here, we haven't done an awful lot to be honest, so much sleeping and sitting around and watching TV, I feel like I'm suppose to feel bad cos I'm in another country and I don't wanna do anything, but I don't i worked my ass off to get here, then i worked my ass off for kids for 9 weeks! and I've been on the go being a tourist for the last almost month. I'm just too lazy to to wanna go be a tourist in Chicago, it's not like we've done nothing, we went into town one day, we to see billy talent on the 16th, which was pretty sweet, Louise got us tix and even though i don't like them all that much but the support bands were pretty sweet! and we got to go to the metro in Chicago which is a tidy little venue, a bit like the HiFi bar but smaller and not as hot hehe.

Then we were gonna go into town on the 17th, but i went and got my tattoo instead, yay! One of Matt's friends who's a tattooist in the next town over did it for me, I payed $200, which is what i paid for my feets tatts lol oops. I've wanted it for a long time! now i just have to get used to it being there! I feel like i should have thought it hurt more, but maybe i just have a high tolerance for pain? hahaha

Then last night we went to see the chicago white sox vs the kansas city royals, the sox lost 0-10, so it was fairly uneventful for the sox. We went back to Matt&Kristiana's after the game and hung out then headed home. That brings us up to date, going to a open mic night Matt is running tonight, so that should be good :) and probably going into town tomorrow.

I think another factor about being here is, I feel like I'm in some rut, I've been looking forward to Ash and Paul coming for SO freaking long and now that its only three days away I'm kinda over it and just want it to be here already... we were totally excited about it, now we're all just over them not being here yet!!...

I THINK IM DONE MOANING. BLOG Y'ALL SOON
mishhhhhhhhhhhx

Sunday, September 13, 2009

So Sept 5th was the last time i updated hey? Well in that time my laptop internet stopped working, yay for vista.

Its now September 13th and I'm in Homewood, Illinois. Staying with Kate. Gonna be here til the 22nd, fromt here i fly to meet PAUL&ASH and im SOOO fucking excited!!!
the week or so since i updated has been pretty fun filled!!
Went to every museum imaginable In DC, Smithsonian Natural History, Smithsonian American History,Smithsonian Native American History, Freer Gallery, National Gallery Of Modern Art, as well as the Lincoln Memorial & The Washington Monument. we managed to spend not a lot of money which always makes me happy! stayed pretty chill in DC cos the days were pretty full on and a lot of walking. Next up was NYC again from the 9-12th, we made the most of it and went out every night. First night we went on a pub crawl with the Hostel we were staying at, whcih was on west 106th street, the upper west side, was pretty sweet all local bars within walking distance & pretty good prices as well!
The next day I met up with Peter O and we hung out, i did a little indulging which i dont do often, bought myself a couple thing arounf times square/5th avenue. Ha i wish i could have afforded to buy some good stuff but alas.. i spend $50 hahaha.
That night me and cat were suppose to meet up with Frannie in Brooklyn was she worked all day so we went out alone, we checked out a couple places that were pretty freaking sweet. I need to live in Brooklyn as soon as i can, this place is amazing, this place is me, this place is perfect for me. I just wish it was closer.. actually no i dont, cos that would mean i wold have no excuse to live in america! hahaha. I love NY a whole lot more than i did that first time around, it gave me a chance to explore. I got all the touristy stuff out of the way, and it allowed me to look at the city in a way that people who live there do. The everyday grind, but at the same time its so amazing.

The next day i went and checked out the Rock and Roll hall of fame exhibit @ the annex in SoHo. It's awesome, i love going to see things like that because I asm genuinely interested, i can go to a museum, and be interested, but if im bored i won't make myself walk around. This sort of thing, i wanna see it all, i wanna read it all. i wanna listen to it all. They had these sweet tour guide devices, that changed when you changed exhibits. We saw the history of Rock & rolls and saw personal belongings from people like Madonna, Elvis, Michael Jackson, Johnny Cash, Prince & the list goes on. I was impressed. It also featured The NYC years of John Lennon, many fantastic photos taken my Bob Bruen who was a fantastic music photographer and John & Yoko personal photography for all that they did... Yoko had put that part of the exhibit together herself, original lyrics to songs he had written, belongings of theirs. There was a phone on the wall that said "IF THIS RINGS, PICK IT UP, IT WILL BE YOKO. IT REALLY WILL SO PICK IT UP" thats pretty freakin amazing to know that if u were to pick up that phone, you'd be talking to yoko ono. The last thing you're left with in the exhibit is the clothes john lennon was wearing when he was killed, in the original paper bag that was handed to yoko more than 25 years ago. It was a lot to take in, and it prompted her to run a campaign for stricter guns laws in the USA, there was a petition to sign. John and yoko were definetly made for eachother, i guess that exhibit proved that, sometimes there might only one person who really gets you. And for John & Yojo that was one another.
We went to a lot of places that day as well, we went to the Chelsea Hotel, which is the hotel in Chelsea (funnily enough) that Sid Vicious stabbed and killed his wife nancy in.. we were wondering how many people would go in every day and ask to see the room. Also Bob Dylan lived there with his wife when they had their first child. We visited a place called Bleecker Bob's Records on 3rd st, which is a beat up on record store where people like Blondie and the New York Dolls worked before they became famous. The Bitter end was a bar we also visited which was place, where Bob Dylan & Janis Joplin would often play at, on a mellow week night. New York hold such amazing history for things i hold close to me, and i feel so lucky to be able to go and visit it and feel the history within the walls of CBGB's and be able to see the amazing photos of people who paved the way for my idols.

Last stop before going out was New York Museum Of Modern art, free entry after 5:30pm, the weather was miserable and there were herds of people in there with soaked hair & dripping umbrellas. There were so many Picasso's & Matisse's & some Van Gogh's & come Lichtenstein's, and so much more. I'm kinda proud of myself for getting to know artists and recognising their styling and enjoying it a lot more as well.

We headed to Webster hall, the biggest night club in NYC, which has something for everyone, including $1 vodkas, something for everyone! We got drunk quickly & Cat & Frannie picked up boys who were friends, so i spent the rest of the night as the 5th wheel, or by myself. It was ok i was too drunk to really care.
We left at about 3:30 to make out way back to the upper west side, cos we had to pack up & leave to Chicago. Yesterday was a long day of trains then trains then planes then trains and some more trains. Chilling out here will do us some good, and kate has TiVo, and it makes me so very very happy bcos it means i get to catch up on episodes of the Jonas Brothers show i hadn't seen yet hahahaha. yay.

I think im good for a while now. Try and update once i do something interesting!

mishhhhhhhhhhhhx

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Provincetown was was nowhere near what i thought it would be, i went to the cape on my adventures last year and thought it would be somewhat like that. Boy was I wrong, it was pretty much socially unacceptable to be straight there and i loved it. Quite clearly a pretty sweet party town, with rainbows alll over the place. Really nice streets and cute little shops, a few x rated shops that were so nicely decked out that you didnt realise until you had 100 vibrators in your face hahaha.
It was sick to get to chill with Jaryd for the day, Cat came too which was sweet, but I'm glad i got to see him again before i left cos he made so much of my summer that i would have been sad if i hadnt have gotten to see him. Got to see jessie too she met up with us later, it was brief yet triumphant and everyone survived the experience hahaha.
The last fews days have been a whirlwind of lugging bags around foriegn large cities. Went from a hotel room where Cat and I got a Queen each, to a hostel on Broadway that had 8 girls sleeping in a room smaller than the hotel we had on the cape. Luckily it was only for a night and we left early the nexy day to get our bus to DC.
So that's where i currently am, Washington DC, hung out with Charchar last night which was amazing, I fucking missed that girl, out power went out in the hostel for like 4 hours its was kind've rediculous. All the museums are free here, which is awesome cos its the place to come for all that stuff. We checked out the Smithsonian museum of Natural history today as well as the national museum of American History and they were both pretty sweet, looking forward to checking out the washington monument, the Capitol and so many more things!

ok. il all out. xoxox.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

sailing the east coast..

Date Check: September 3rd.
Days since camp ended: 10
Days been away from home: 77
Days til I go home: 75
Days til I see Kristiana & Kate: 10
Days til I see Paul and Ash: 20
Days til I See Louise: 50
Days til I see my amazing Mother: 77

Camp is over, and it's like we're all in mourning, it's so strange, we all keep talking about being socially acceptable
because we forgot how to. I think i have the hang of it now and now i've just become a foreign backpacker.

I spent 5 days in Boston after camp, was alone for it all got to hang out with Jenn, but didn't see anyone else from camp which made me sad.
Made friends easily enough @ the hostel as there were a lot of people coming from camps there and hostels are just great places to meet people in general.
Went to some jazz bars which I can say ive now done and throroughly enjoyed. Boston is the kind of place that I don't like as a tourist, but its definetely
somewhere I could live, i stayed in the back bay, and it's a cool area lotsa musicians and interesting looking people around.

I was spose to go hang with James for the weekend in Worcester but that full through so i decided to go meet up with Cat early and go to NYC for the weekend.
Worked out well, went to a sick place called Webster hall, cheap entry, cheap drinks, bands and SWEEEET indie/electro. Got so very drunk and by the time we got back
to our hostels it was 4am, the subway is a bitch even at 2:30am. THe place reminded me of home, like if i weren't to step outside i could easily have been at a bar or something
back in Melbourne town. Going to such large cities makes me realise how fucking lucky I am to live in such asn amazing place such as melbourne.
It's not unlivable in anyway, the city, while busy, is bearable, not a lot of congestion. SO SO Much culture, the right amount of multiculturalism,
the right attitude, something for everyone, sports, music, theatre, restaurants/bars. And im so glad i can get the same thing from NYC as i can from the city i call home.

I met up with Frannie, who's living in Brooklyn, and it's my favourite part of NYC, the right amount happenings for me, we just sat in a park and chilled for a few hours,
i love it to just be able to chill out! Mischa Barton even made an appearance down the street!

I'm in Plymouth at the moment, the place where the Mayflower first hit america and the english took over, pretty crazy. Going up to Provincetown with Jessie & Jaryd & Cat tomorrow,
which I'm looking forward to.
I can't wait to see Ash and Paul, its going to be amazinggggggggggg.

you know you love me xoxo

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I seriously can't fathom how the whole camp america process, filling out all the form, paying all the fees, getting references etc, has brought me to this amazing place.. everything i did leading up to it, i would never in a thousand years thought this is the time i'd be having, the friendships ive made, the AMAZING life changing experience this has been. And i NEVER thought i would this this sad knowing i have to leave.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

wahwahwah

Ok so its August 12th.

My last post was June 14th. And camp ends in 11 days. What a rollercoaster ride of an experience. I started off knowing NOONE in this place. I left Australia with such uncertainty of where in Americ i was going to be sent, and you know what i was ok with that... I got sent to Camp Calumet Lutheran Camp for boys and girls. And it is now one my favourite places on the planet along with the thousands of people who come here every year and fall in love with it. I guess ive never been to another camp so I don't know.. i feel like this place has something in the water.. so many people who have met here have gotten married and now their children are friens cos they too have come to Calumet. I have 40+ new friends, and so many many more acquantes who for the most part have opened their arms up to me in their tight knit community of children, god & memories for life.

So many people here are phenomenal creatures, people like noone i have ever met, people who are themselves at camp more so than they are at home, many of them are somewhat younger than me, but i am so glad there are people that in 5 years time that will be my age and will be good people.
I havent left yet and I already miss it, and i feel like i have no choice bt to return next year.

We have a job here, to make kids have the best times of their lives! But in the process i am having the time of my life.. I'm pushing my self in ways that i didnt know i could but at the same time not at all. I feel like if i come back year ill need to work my way to things during this and next year so i can benefit from it even more. I feel worthwhile here, i feel like i have a job to do and that makes me feel good.

I guess the only downfall of being here is the fact that I'm 23 and the average age of people here are 17-20. So much of the stuff that goes on seems so immature and pointless to me, but i cant blame them fo wanting to have fun. I'm still making friends here everyday and it makes me sad that i have while its still happening.

I miss people at home alot, i want hugs from my friends back home. But my hear only aches every so often. I think its a constructive home sick. I appreciate what im doing so much that im not taking it for granted and letting missing my friends get in the way.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

oh man i haven't listened to The Juliana Theory for a REALLY long time, kinda forgot how they made me feel.

So in about 18 hours I'll be on my way to the adventure of my life time!! little bit longer than the last one, not so many countries, but a different challenge, probably more physically challenging than anything. I'm so freakin nervous 1)Cos I'm going alone 2)Cos I'm leaving a good thing i have going here at home. But at the same time this is what I'm working towards :)
And how i love America, I know not many people do, I don't love the country for 90% of the dooshbags who live there. There is just something about being somewhere that kinda feels like home, yet is NOTHING like it.
I know I'm going to be fine, but like what normal person isn't anxious before a big trip! that's my excuse and I'm sticking with. Something tells me I'm not really going to miss many people back home, my dibs are on about 5 people in total, 2 of which are coming to LA to meet me and I CAAAN'T WAITT!!

I'm too anxious to write more hahaha. But I'm going to try and update on here to keep everyone including myself in the loop!!

Au Revoir friends <3

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I'm surrounded by some pretty freaking amazing people in my life. It's such a nice feeling to know that you will be missed. I was so worried last time that noone would miss me, and slowly i cared less about that.

This time im going to leave for 5 months with the feeling that people i see pretty much almost everyday of my life, are going to miss me, and they would rather I stayed then left, and thats such a lovely feeling to have. I am so open about how i feel about people i love, it's amazing to have it given back.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I can't wait to go to the grand canyon, and see vegas, and go back to san diego, and go back to NYC.

I'm leaving really soon, and im super excited :) I think that its coming @ a good time, cos work is slowly wearing me down, I'm slowly not being able to get through a whole day without getting really frustrated or upset. So i'll go away then be sweeeet when i come back.

I'm at the point where, i know i should be excited, but im just sad about the new frienships im leaving behind, and the old ones too, but i guess theyve stood the test of time before. I know im going to have an amazing time, and I'm going to come home and everything will be fine. But i always find a nice spot for myself somewhere then the need to mess it up.

Friday night is the Transurban 5 year party, we're hired a hotel room, and its going to be siiiick. Havent had an awesome night out in sooo long, and so many of my fave people at the moment will be there. SO i think it will be a fantastic opportunity to party it up, and spend som QT with people i love before i leave.


mishhhhhhhhhhhhx

Sunday, May 10, 2009

you're my hero.




Thankyou for instilling everything good i have in me, I dont think i show it enough, but i love you more than anyone on this planet, and i hope someday i can give you to what you've given to me. Loving unconditionally, no matter how stubborn or selfish i am, sacrificing your happiness to make me and louise happy, and never telling us we couldnt do something. Allowing me to be the person i want to be and never questioning me on it, just allowing me to follow my passions and instincts & always listening and supporting, never judging.

You're my hero, and you deserve the world. i hope one day i can give it to you.

xxxx

Places I have encountered...

hoping to make north america a little more green over the next few months..











Friday, May 8, 2009

...........

I feel like I'm in this contemplative mood, where I need to find the answers to everything that i can't get out of my head. But when I get like this I know I can't find the answers, and probably won't, hence why they're bothering me.

All those worldly questions I have about myself, and those around me. I guess I kinda just gotta get used to it rather then trying to 'solve the problem'.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

cast your demons aside..

Will i ever get to a point where I will stop using lack of confidance to change my situation? I feel like its an excuse I use to stop myself from feeling vulnerable or beinf at risk of rejection?

Will i ever care enough about myself TO change my situation and become the person I want to be? I dont know who that person is, but this person is scared, this person is scared that she wont have an excuse to hide behind when she does make a change? What if things still dont work out? what excuse will i have to hide behind then.

I have so many people around me that love me for who i am. But it's not enough, maybe thats the reason, that noone demands I change, and maybe thats the problem maybe im far too comforable.

bayside - demons

You could never really win
not to say you're born to lose
you were born to take 10th place out of 20 in the field
mistakes flow through your veins in a mediocre way

your life's a living hell
you've got gremlins in your blood cells
and monsters in your bed
their haunting you again
oh it must be this place at least thats what you say, say, say

you don't love you anymore
cast your demons aside
keep them close enough to know what your running from
soon you wont feel this anymore
cast your demons aside
keep them close enough to know that your moving on

the fire used to burn
in your heart and in your eyes
you used to dream you used to care you used to love you used to fight
for anything at all
you cover up your bedroom wall with who u want to be
now your afraid to be yourself so u search the mall for something else
You read magazines and watch MTV
you practiced it and everything
oh your dressed to impressed but you look like a drag queen

you don't love you anymore
cast your demons aside
keep them close enough to know what your running from
soon you wont feel this anymore
cast your demons aside
keep them close enough to know that your moving on

so keep your head up high
stretch inches into miles
because Brooklyn wasn't built in just a day
focus on important things
be your own gun like every ghost that held you down was gone
keep them close enough to know that your moving on

you don't love you anymore
cast your demons aside
keep them close enough to know what your running from
soon you wont feel this anymore
cast your demons aside
keep them close enough to know that your moving on

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

FYI

Do you know what really infuriates me, when people assume I care more than I fucking do.
I don't need anything from you and I don't expect anything from you, so if you needed to insist that we be good friends again, you need to not act like i'm one of your needy fucking 19 year old girlfriends ok? I'm genuine, and I'm friends with you for the right reasons.

I ask nothing of you accept you be a good person to me, and might i just add the amount of resentment I would have held for you if this were 2 years ago, is much much less now.

I like to think that I'm a bigger person than this, and that you didn't hurt me, but I cant detach myself from my emotions entirely. So I'm going to go back into my shell a little more, the shell that made me realise how delluded you are about your life and the awesome person you think you are.
And step away from the instance where i have expectation in you.

I'm sorry i'll try not to do it again.

Friday, May 1, 2009

a new era in blogging...

So apparently LJ doesn't cut it with the cool kids anymore... either that or i got really sick of itand felt like a fresh start!!

So I guess this is where my rantings will be laid to rest, for you to observe and do with what you will.

It kinda freaks me out how many mediums i use on the internet that do EXACTLY the same thing, yet someone how i find a way to validate each and everyone of them in my life hahaha...Myspace (dont especially use it, but its there), Facebook, Twitter... pretty sure I can do exactly the same things on everyone of those yet still choose to use them all... and now this. It feels like the more i discuss my life, then it must just be REALLY important... hey everyone, THIS IS WHAT I DID/THIS IS WHAT IM DOING... and if you didn't catch my life's most recent headline on Facebook go check it on on Twitter, cos i put it there too!

Not even entirely sure why i do it though, i guess im just fascinated by the novelty of technology, and the fact people can know what im going most of the time if they choose to and i know what theyre doing in 140 characters or less. I think i should probably be more freaked out by the amount of information i share over the internet, but for some reason I'm not... you''ll all hear about it when someone steals my identity tho. I work with a girl who uses a FALSE name because she thinks someone is going to hunt her down and stab her for not putting through a Citylink day pass a day late... I just like the idea that you can feel close to anyone in the world with technology, its bridges the gaps in communication, yet stilts them because it causes you to become lazy with people who are close by.

Wow somehow this turned into some media essay i never planned on writing.

That was my first post....tune in soon for something far more interesting (i hope)

mishhhhhhh