.

I'm struggling, more than I can explain, more than I can tell any one person I am currently near with out making them feel like their helping contribute to my struggle. More than I can tell any one person at home with out making myself want to go home more than I already do.

Why can't I just be OK with myself? Why does my constant struggle with myself, always result in somebody else's actions bringing out that doubt I have in myself.

Why don't the people who I have the highest expectations in have the same in me?

I want something to be reciprocated. Just once. I know people try to give me the same I give to others, and I don't reciprocate it to them, and I guess I know how they feel, but I just want for once, for someone to feel about me the exact way I feel about them, and if they do, tell me, cos I surely tell them.

There were so many I's in that last paragraph, and essentially this is about me, and my insecurities, but any person is lying when they tell you they don't care what others think about them. But for as many I's I have typed, I still feel like I'm giving far more than I receive.